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Gouache Day

One person in armchair. The other storms in.


JAN

Fuck!


MARGO

What?


JAN

Go to your phone.


MARGO

Can you tell me?


JAN

Just go to your phone.


MARGO

Okay.


JAN

Go to Facebook.


MARGO

Okay.


MARGO

Okay, and?


JAN

Or, sorry, go to your calendar.


MARGO

What if – and hear me out – you just told me what’s happening?


JAN

What is tomorrow?


MARGO

I don’t know. Tuesday?


JAN

Mhmm. Which is…?


MARGO

A Tuesday? The sixth? Tuesday the sixth? I don’t know.


JAN

Sure. What are we doing tomorrow?


MARGO

Um, we have class.


JAN

Which class?


MARGO

Primary Aesthetics.


JAN

Exactly.


MARGO

I am lost.


JAN

What do I have tomorrow?


MARGO

Primary Aesthetics?


JAN

Incorrect! I have work!


MARGO

Didn’t you have to submit a class schedule at the beginning of the semester?


JAN

Correct! I did!


MARGO

And that didn’t have any effect on this situation?


JAN

It did not!


MARGO

They don’t give you time off for class? It’s a university coffee shop. That feel like it should be like the one rule.


JAN

I know. Fucking Jared.


MARGO

It’s gouache day!


JAN

I know!


MARGO

I just don’t get how one person can be so much of the worst of the world in one little body.


JAN

I feel like I should just quit? But I can’t do that? Because the universe requires me to have this job to retain status as a functional human being who isn’t being crushed under a mountainous avalanche of debt.


MARGO

Right. So you’re just gonna eat the grade deduction?


JAN

So what I’m doing is I’m emailing Emily to tell her that I’m sick tomorrow morning so that she hopefully doesn’t penalize me. She will probably forget by the time of class, so I’m telling you. Please don’t forget.


MARGO

I’ll do my best.


JAN

Fuck coffee.


MARGO

Sure. Agreed.


JAN

It’s like, buy a Keurig? Right? Why do I have to serve these people?


MARGO

What if you call in sick tomorrow to not class but instead your job and come to class?


JAN

Yeah. I, like, did that already and somehow Jared found out. Which I don’t understand.


MARGO

Okay fair enough. Here’s what I don’t understand. Why is this just now becoming a problem?


JAN

Great question, thank you for asking. Jared changed the schedule!


MARGO

Is he allowed to do that?


JAN

As the manager? Yes.


MARGO

But I mean, in general, like, isn’t there a rule in your contract or something?


JAN

I don’t know.


MARGO

Have you checked your contract?


JAN

No. It’s just a lot of work to ultimately end up in a losing fight with him.


MARGO

Right, but, isn’t this just going to keep happening if you don’t say something?


JAN

I don’t know. Probably. Probably not. It shouldn’t.


MARGO

Here’s a thought. Check your contract! It’s so easy!


JAN

I would.


MARGO

Do it.


JAN

I would, but…


MARGO

That’s actually not a good reason.


JAN

I gave a good reason.


MARGO

Mm, not really.


JAN

I don’t want to get into a fight with my manager!


MARGO

Oh okay, so you’re just gonna skip all your classes whenever this asshole who you do not like tells you to because it’s convenient?


JAN

I need the money!


MARGO

You need the money to afford being here, a place you’re trying to graduate from, which you will not do if you miss all your classes.


JAN

Whatever. I’m just sick tomorrow. It’ll be fine. It’s one time.


MARGO

Okay.


JAN

Will you remember to remind Emily?


MARGO

I will.


JAN

I’m annoyed, too.


MARGO

I know. Just do something about it before it happens again.


JAN

It won’t happen again.


MARGO

If you make it not happen, it will not happen.


JAN

It won’t happen again.